Betrayed by Work

Are you proud of the job, position or profession that Frustrated Man Worries About Economy, Unpaid Bills and Retirementyou have developed over your working career? While you may have reached the prominent position in your company or industry that you have always desired do, you find that you are not as comfortable or satisfied as you expected to be. Why is that?

Those who have worked hard at their careers, developing a strong reputation for performance and accomplishment and are often too preoccupied with their work to the exclusion of other people (non-work related), hobbies, volunteer experience and very often their own family. People that fit this profile are described as having a “life out of balance!”. A career focused life is a very self-serving existence which you may declare to be doing it for the company or your family or “??” but in reality it is a pre-occupation with your success. Unfortunately in many cases men and women find that what they were driving toward does not have the “rewards” they expected to receive and enjoy when they got “arrived”.

They are surrounded by people like themselves who are too often focused more on their own interests than yours. You don’t have the relationships (men primarily) that you would think your accomplishments would create or attract. Relationships that are needed when the tough life experiences arrive in your life when you ask “Who do I turn to?”. Is this due to your job or you?

Do not rely on work to be an end all! While you may achieve the desired image you are pursuing, you may not be the person you want to be. How do
you answer the following questions?

  1. Are you comfortable with people in non-work situations?
  2. Are you able to give freely of your time to something other than work?
  3. Are you recognized by those around you as a genuinely happy person?
  4. Do you constantly seek the approval of others?
  5. Is your life constantly too busy where even standing in line for tickets at a theater is agonizing?

If you found yourself answering yes to these questions then you need to re-examine “the life you always wanted”. More work-work is not going deal with these issues. You need to step back and take a look at where you are going and change the manner in which you approach your job. What am I talking about?

  1. Consciously focus on other people. Those around you at work, the waiter that serves you, the neighbor down the street or your children at home that you may have never looked at in a different way in terms of what is going on in their lives. Spend time considering what they are dealing with in their lives and if possible and appropriate offering advice or support (i.e. helping them move on a weekend) to let them know they are not alone.
  2. Commit to serving in a volunteer role – youth sport coach, non-profit position, ushering at church – where you give of yourself and serve outside of work.
  3. Look for humor in your daily life. Engage with people who have the ability to find joy in what they do on a daily basis and have them help you see similar circumstances in your life and how to laugh at them or enjoy them with humor.
  4. Do something anonymously to reduce your tendency to only do things that bring acknowledgement. Help someone without telling them who you are. Send money to an organization or person in need in a way that they will not be able to trace it to you.
  5. Find a way to bring patience into your daily life. Let someone ahead of you in the check-out line. Find a way to bring solitude into your daily routine – get up 15 minutes earlier, schedule time in your calendar to not-be-busy. Use this time to bring order to your life.

By focusing on others, giving of ourselves in a volunteer role, seeing life through the lens of humor, helping others selflessly and doing so with an attitude of patience, we bring a new bearing to who we are and a value to life and others that is not based on work. One day we will be “retired” and then what? Will that be the time to change and be a different person? Make the change now and expand your job satisfaction to be based on life beyond work so that when the rewards of working fall below what you expected and you feel betrayed you have something to fall back on that is far more rewarding.

For more information about “The Life You Always Wanted” click here.

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